I woke up from somewhere between a dream and a nightmare last week. My skin with clammy with sweat, my heart accelerating as if I was running from the memories flickering in my head. "I don't want to move to the USA," my dream leaving one last whisper in my mind as I come to the realisation that I was laying in my bed.
Between organising international health insurance, researching banks, cars, rental properties. Budgeting for moving countries and diving into "income unknown" in less than ten short weeks. I find myself overwhelmed and before I can catch a tear escaping from the corner of my almond shape eye's, I start sobbing. "I don't want to move to the USA."
I LOVE Australia, apart of me wishes I wasn't self-aware enough to hear my calling and feel my spirit pushing and pulling in its unsettled slumber, begging me, forcing me to make this change in my life.
I believe our purpose here on earth is to live on and evolve. We are in such fear of feeling uncomfortable. We're taught that security is safety, so we rarely feel bold enough to venture far from home, challenging the way we have been "conditioned" from religion to education and social structure, giving us little room to evolve mentally and spiritually beyond our last generation.
Growing up in Gunnedah our primary industry is agriculture and coal mining. The energy that washes across the small town is one of masculinity. A "cultured" evening out tasting Gunnedah's finest food and beverages would mean sitting down to a large mouth watering steak with pepper sauce, chips and a garden salad overflowing your plate and washing it down with a schooner of beer.
The females from Gunnedah are strong, independent "do it them self" kind of girls. I often get reminded of our masculine qualities when I spend time with my city girlfriends. I think growing up driven by the femininity of self-expression and creativity; I always felt an out of place sense of discomfort in Gunnedah, but still it is my safety net.
We stand back in awe as we "champion" the people who were willing enough to step out from their comforts and evolve beyond their conditions.
Oprah Winfrey, was only an African-American girl, from the south. Born daughter to a teen mum with little money, tossed from house to house. She was sexually abused by family members, fell pregnant at 14 to her abuser, her child died in infancy and lost her sister to cocaine. We know Oprah today as one of the most influential people of western culture and is currently North America's first and only multi-billionaire black person.
We never seem to defend or believe in ourselves enough that we have the power and ability to be one of those people. The discomfort of going against the grain, "shaking off" eye rolls and people telling us we can't... well guess what... I believe we can!
Evolution takes time; it's a marathon, a discipline dedication and a life long mantra, it has become a part of my spirituality and faith.
Fame, money and stuff has never been a motivator for me. I would love to own a house one day and have the things that I need without the worry of money. I believe I will achieve that in my own time and way. If it's in Nashville, Gunnedah or where ever I end up. I hope that I continue to make evolution and growth my no.1 investment.
My lifetime goal is nothing more than to gaze down at my old wrinkled hands passing on the knowledge I have gained in this lifetime to the ones I love and encourage them never to be afraid of growing. Fly, soar, and best of all evolve.
There is a great paragraph I love from the book "Think And Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill discussing a long list of excuses why we never push harder to achieve our goals or grow. "If only I had the money", "If only I started when I was younger", "If only I was good enough". Ultimately he sums it up with this one last excuse, I hope this one resonates with you as much as it did with me.
“IF - and this is the greatest of them all - I had the courage to see myself as I really am, I would find out what is wrong with me, and correct it, then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others, for I know that there is something WRONG with me, or I would now be where I WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I had spent more time analyzing my weaknesses, and less time building alibis to cover them.”
― Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich