“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
― Criss Jami
Raised in a creative family, we are all somewhat misfits. The odd ones in a crowd with bottle top glasses, wild thick curly hair, bushy eyebrows and this unknown rhythm in our body that we can't help but shake it when the beat drops. My Brother, Cousins, Aunties and Uncles, were never "footy players" or budding sports stars oozing with masculinity. In fact, our depth perception (or lack of) makes us rather impressive on a tennis court holding the record for the most balls not hit. We are creators, computer gamers, intellects and communicators.
A recent family reunion had all of my relatives perform a "talent" show on a home built stage in my Great Uncles backyard. It wasn't about quality, obviously, for all the dogs in the neighborhood were howling. It was about expression, connecting, supporting and having fun. We are odd, outgoing, outcasts that somehow fit into society by being brave enough to hold out our big hearts knowing how sensitive we are. How deeply we hurt when we are broken but trusting others to appreciate our gift of love.
When I started blogging, it was an experiment. My passion for songwriting has been my longest love affair, and I thought how magical it would be not to have the restrictions of "rhyme or metre". With a great passion for self-help, spirituality and motivational books, combined with my own experiences, I have often said: "I would love to write a book one day". I don't believe I qualify to "teach" or "help" others along their path like the books that I enjoy reading so much. My ambition behind blogging has never been to inspire or empower my readers, although that response has been a sweet surprise. My intention was simply to connect with my readers, share pieces of myself and sprinkle a little joy.
Over the last few weeks, I have had strangers pull me up on the street, personal messages and supporters at my shows who expressed how much they have enjoyed my blogs and the strength I have encouraged in their lives. I never posted a blog that I haven't genuinely felt or shed a tear, and I have never known the power of vulnerability until after sharing my story with you. Thank you for your loving kindness and being so gentle with my heart.
I believe our need to build walls to protect ourselves in this consumerist society has become second nature. Authenticity is void, our spirit in its rawest form is disclosed and hidden.
In 2014, I heartbreakingly had to make the choice to sever ties with my father. I never knew what it felt like to have my heart ripped right out of my chest. A new sense of emptiness appeared that I had to learn to fill with my own self-love. Sharp daggers punctured into where my heart use to be, twisting slightly to teach me the most painful lesson of deep rejection. But guess what? I made it through the pain, I stumbled through the shrapnel of our venomous words, our spiteful actions and the pieces left of our broken relationship. When I had reached the point of not needing to cry anymore and when the pain no longer hurt, I woke. I was alive. I was still breathing and I was ok.
Right then, I could have simply wrapped up my bleeding heart. To scared to show it to anyone else in fear of feeling rejection once again, but I didn't do that. I looked around at the mess my vulnerability had made, one by one I picked up each broken piece and started to glue back together my worth, my strength, my hope and belief in others to be kind. Like repaired shattered porcelain, I'm not perfect. I have cracks. I have missing parts. But I'm stronger, wiser and a better person because of it.
My love for my father has not been sacrificed. If anything, I love him the best way I have ever loved him. After all, he has been my greatest teacher. How blessed am I to know that I will never feel rejection like that again? I AM FREE! FREE TO BE VULNERABLE! I can do anything, and I feel safe in the universe knowing that I've already felt the worst. It makes's it a little easier when I put into perspective that I plan to take over the world by sharing my music and a ton of love.
"Those that know you love you. Those that don't, assume". My best friend Chad
I believe that we are on this earth to evolve spiritually, emotionally and physically. We either act out of love or out of fear and by sitting in the confines of our safest hideaway in fear, we don't challenge our spirit to grow.
Life is hard! But I believe it's so much more rewarding when you open your heart to the world and in all your fear you become fearless despite it all. I dare you, I dare you to be vulnerable!
I can't thank my readers enough for sharing your time with me; I've been so moved by your response and loving support. I have some exciting news to share with you this next week, so stay tuned.
CMC has also announced that I'll be a guest blogger for the CMC Music Awards; I'll spend time with the artists in rehearsals and posting to social networks with my Bachelor Australia co-star Mary O'Neill, who blogs for Honey On The Railroad. If you would love to ask any of your favourite artist questions, I will do my best to get the job done. Please tag #CMCAWARDS in your statuses.
Thank you once again. I am blessed.
Love Kat x